My Story

I grew up in a conservative Christian Church in the 1960's.  A Baptist Church.  No drinking.  No smoking.  No dancing.  No hugging.  No kissing.  No cussing.  I assume that applied to lying and stealing and fighting and teasing and a plethora of other sins.  But we didn't talk about those as much as the biggies.  (Back in those days LGBTQ wasn't even discussed.  Ironically abortion wasn't a big deal.)

The penalty for breaking the rules?  Judgment, condemnation, and a heap of guilt.  Because the Bible said so.

I assure you, as a lad who couldn’t sit still nor keep his mouth shut, I suffered a lot of guilt.  

College brought new experiences, new temptations, and more guilt.  

But I didn’t lose my connection with my faith.  I drifted away from the church, but then I drifted back, albeit to the Presbyterians this time.  

But the Baptists weren’t done with me.  Two experiences that I will never forget.  

First, my cousin.  Second, third, fourth cousin?  I could never figure it out.  She cornered me one day - for what reason I have no idea.  But she hits me with: “You know, the family never approved of your mom’s marriage to your dad.” 

Say what?  How do you respond to that?  Why would she say that?  The cousins were not well off financially.  They were at our house every year for every holiday I could think of.  Thanksgiving.  Christmas.  Easter.  Food.  And gifts.  Not much in return, but nobody cared, nobody ever mentioned it.  

But that doesn’t hold a candle to the next story.  My father had cancer.  Cancer was ugly, I think the chemo was worse.  He died at 73.  At the viewing at the funeral home a church deacon walked up and warmly shook my hand.  But not with condolences.  No with these bizarre words: “You know your father went straight to hell.”  

Excuse me?  Again.  So I shook his hand and invited him up to the house for food and refreshments after the service.  What else could I do?    

But I kept thinking.  Why would they say those things?  

Maybe this is it.

They had a box.  A well defined box.  And dad didn’t fit in it.  So they disapproved of him.  Judged him.  And sentenced him to hell.  (Although they did cash his checks he put in the plate on Sundays.)

Should I trash my faith because of these professing Christians?  Do I fit in their box?  Is there hope for me?  

Has anyone else experienced this?  (They have.)  Is this in the Bible?  (It is.)  

I needed answers.  I needed to know why.  Why they said these things.  Why they are in the Bible.  Is that really what Jesus taught?  Is that really what Paul taught?  Are these interpretations correct? 

The Focus

The focus of APSE ministries is to reach out to former believers and doubters who question the Bible, question the church - be it a specific church, a specific denomination, or church in general, or question the relevance of God and the church in the 21st century.

So many people have left the church because they did not fit in “the box.” 

At first is was a big box. Just believe, confess your sin, and ask for forgiveness through the gift of Jesus’ atoning death and resurrection.

Oh wait. You have to be baptized. You have to join a church. This church. No that church. You have to do this. No, you can’t do that. And the box starts getting smaller. And smaller.

And when you don’t fit in the box, judgment starts. By the church. By people.

Judgment on rules.

Whose rules?  God’s?  The Bible’s?  The church’s?  Man’s?

My ministry is not to force answers on anyone. Belief and worship are personal decisions.

My ministry is to identify questions. Stumbling blocks. Legitimate doubts about Biblical accounts. Legitimate concerns about the size of that box.

To offer ideas. Places to look. Points to consider.  Based on the Bible.

Begin with this. I do not judge. About worship. About denomination. About the size of the box. No man is the judge. God alone is the judge.

No one should give up on God and reject the gift of Jesus because you do not fit the definition of somebody else’s box.

To help people I have formed APSE Ministries.

A - Ask  You are right to question. You are right to ask.  God is a loving God. A forgiving God.  A providing God. A generous God.  Seek the truth. Your faith will be stronger.

P - Pray  Establish your personal relationship with God. Ask for the Holy Spirit to enter your body.  Pray for an open mind. Pray for the truth.

S - Study  Open the Bible. Read the Bible. Study the Bible. Openly. Honestly. Look deeper. Recognize the symbolism. Put each story and lesson in context. Yes, many books were written thousands of years ago. Do not miss the lesson or meaning by literal interpretation. Learn how the lesson applies to your life today.

E - Embrace  Learn the love and grace of God.  Embrace the gift of life that God has given you.  Christianity is not a life of no, no, no that creates the tiny box.  The message is a positive one. The message is one of hope.  Christianity is a life of love, not hate. Caring, not neglect. Sharing, not greed.

APSE - A recess that holds the altar. The altar that holds the bread and wine. The bread and wine that represents Jesus’ atoning gift for you. Forgiveness of your sins. Eternal life.

Jesus did 99% of the work.  Belief is hope and joy. Not misery. Learn the truth.